How you approach this challenge will affect your child’s development and worldview, so you need to prepare yourself for everything that growing up entails: falling in love, new friendships, school, etc. New challenges will pile up, and whether your child realizes their potential or not depends on your approach to parenting.
There is no single right answer or path forward, every family has their own habits and a way of communication, but ultimately, they all share the same goal – success and happiness in life.
No matter how reasonable or mature for their age your child may be, they will always need you. Parents are there to provide their children with a caring home which is both safe and inspiring. Regardless of what happens in a teenager’s life (and a lot happens), they want to know that they can always rely on you. Of course, trust is a two-way street, so never forget that you are first and foremost a parent, not your child’s friend.
Being a parent means establishing certain boundaries for your children. Although teenagers may never admit it, house rules actually mean a lot to them. Restrictions and boundaries teach them how to behave in certain situations, what is ok and what is not, both at home and in the outside world. This is part of growing up, and it is up to you to find the right way to deal with it. You need to assess when you should lay down the law, and when to turn your head the other way and give in. After all, rules exist for the sake of children’s development and not the other way around.
School occupies a central place in a child’s life as they grow up. A better part of a student’s day is dedicated to educational activities and family time is sometimes sacrificed in order to meet learning and educational demands. However, it doesn’t have to be like that, parents should view their children’s school responsibilities as an opportunity to get closer, because believe it or not, your child will always need you. A change in environment brings new challenges, such as higher expectations, new classmates and teachers, and unfamiliar circumstances.
School brings many changes, and perhaps the most important one is a way to approach new obligations and learning independence. What you need to know at the very beginning of that process is that there is no universal method that can help you solve all challenges. Every child develops at their own pace, so you need to be accepting and tolerant of the behavior problems that may arise. Fortunately, parents are not alone in this process because you can always rely on the sincere help of experienced teachers who will land you a hand in this challenging job. Teachers are allies whose primary goal is not assessment, but transferring knowledge and helping students become better, more educated citizens.
Put your trust in the tried and tested education system, but always be up to date with your child’s academic and social development. Whenever you feel the need to get involved, talk to your child and refrain from criticism. Focus on the problem and how to solve it. Sometimes, a conversation will solve everything, whereas in other situations, you will have to think about strategies for more effective learning. However, you should bear in mind that grades are not as important as acquiring positive habits and new knowledge, especially in early education. Good grades will definitely come with effort.
There are many parenting styles that can be utilized to achieve one’s goals and mutual respect. It is interesting that many psychologists note that bad parenting is easy to recognize, whereas there are no universal solutions for good parenting. Nevertheless, if you stick to your principles, and if you are patient and determined, you are on the right path.
New responsibilities must not in any way negatively affect family life or the child’s mental health. Your relationships must now be stronger than ever, because no matter how independent the child is, they will still need your help and support on a daily basis. As they grow up, challenges will become increasingly complex, responsibilities will multiply, and the desire for teenage independence will become stronger. Don’t worry about it, it’s all part of growing up.
After all, you were in their shoes once, and you surely fondly remember that period. It is your task now to use that experience and help your child prepare for all the challenges life may throw their way. It takes a lot of love, patience and good organization to achieve the desired goal. To help you and make this exciting journey go as smoothly as possible, here are some useful parenting tips.
Growing up comes with a lot of responsibilities, so it would be good to keep up the practice of daily routines you’ve probably established since kindergarten. If you’ve been an easygoing and permissive parent, it is time to work on your child’s daily schedule. This doesn’t mean that your home should look like army barracks, but that the child should have a sense of time and obligations. Each part of the day has activities of its own, from brushing their teeth, to going to bed.
If you want to succeed, make a schedule that’s harmonized with your family. Thus, for example, you want to know who does what in the morning, when it is time for breakfast, and when to leave the house. You will eliminate morning wardrobe dilemmas and the hunt for socks by having them prepare their clothes for the next day before they go to bed.
With a little exercise, your child will soon subconsciously know what they need to do at a certain time of day, which will greatly facilitate organization. If we add extracurricular activities such as sport practice to all this, it is clear that there is no success without planning. The most important aspect of creating daily routines is that, thanks to good time management, you will spend more time together as a family, which means that you will have more time for family meals, shopping, spending time outdoors, watching sports, going to the movies, etc.
Of course, you should always put aside some free time for yourself and the children. The periods “of doing nothing” will help you rest and have more energy for the rest of your day. Good time management will help you fulfill your daily obligations more easily, and it is a good foundation for successfully mastering professional challenges later in life.
To help your child successfully master all their daily obligations, you have to efficiently do away with screens of all sizes. Mobile phones have many good sides, but the problem arises when staring into the screen becomes an obsession, and not just in terms of the time spent on the phone, but also excessive focus on social media and video games. If you don’t control their media time, teenagers can easily acquire the dangerous habit of staring into their mobile phones for hours on end.
For starters, try to limit their media time as discreetly as possible. You will achieve this by communicating with your child and offering them a better alternative. Instead of watching TV, why not cook something together, play board games, read interesting books, or ride a bicycle? This doesn’t mean that you should ban technology altogether. Define their screen time in line with their age and let them be children.
If played with moderation, video games can even help in the development of the child’s intellectual abilities, whereas social media can improve their social skills. Don’t forget that your child is part of a social group with certain values where belonging is very important. Let the child be a child, but within defined boundaries.
If your child is just starting school, think about whether they really need a mobile phone. If they are responsible children, there is no need to get used to screens from an early age. If you want to be in touch with them during the day, you can always buy them a smartwatch or a phone with basic functions only, such as calls and messages, and a GPS (so you would know where they are).
You have probably realized by now that you won’t always have time to spend with your child. Everyone has their own obligations, so at the end of the day, none of you has much energy for family gatherings. You have certainly been in the situation where you just want to lie down on the couch countless times, but hold on for another half an hour and focus on what your child has to say and show you. Put the phones away, turn off the TV, and devote your undivided attention to your little world.
Although it seems short, even 20 minutes of quality family time helps children. Numerous studies show that paying attention to one’s children improves their emotional maturity. This way, you will strengthen your family bonds, and consequently improve mutual communication and respect. Quality time should be focused on what you are doing, not how long it takes.
To spend quality time with your child, communicate regularly and do things you both enjoy together:
A good approach will help you build a better relationship with your child, while at the same time helping them with things that are less fun (studying, homework). Of course, you are still their parent, not their friend. There has to be mutual respect, and the recognition of your authority as a parent.
Your child is old enough to face different challenges, and this means that they will make mistakes, a lot of mistakes. Some will be the result of ignorance, inexperience, and some will simply arise due to a lack of attention and effort. Many parents worry about how their children will cope with problems, so they tend to hover and over-help.
You should definitely be there to lend a hand if your child needs help in studying, doing projects, etc. But you should never fulfill their obligations for them, or overprotect them. The point is to let them learn important lessons on their own, and they are often life lessons, not just math, geography or history lessons. Children should know that you have their back, but that support is not a permission for laziness and procrastination.
In line with these challenges, be prepared for some serious and difficult conversations. Adolescence is a dynamic and rebellious period in a child’s life, which is why you will have to resort to punishment and consequences at some point. Even when you do, be consistent, and make good on your promises (this also applies to rewards).
So, if you tell them that there is no computer for a week, and that they must go to bed at 8, stick to your decision, no matter how sorry you are. This also applies to all other agreements, establish some ground rules and stick to them. The child must know that you love them the most in the world, but that you won’t back down. Love must never be in question, even when you have to be strict. It’s all part of growing up, remember your childhood, there is no person who has never done anything wrong. Parenting is the most beautiful job in the world, you just need patience and understanding.
